How to Cope With Common Fears About Starting Therapy
Are you struggling with anxiety, burnout, or trauma? Do you want to start therapy but have fears that are holding you back? Here’s what might be going on and what to do:
"I’ll be judged if I go to therapy”
The thought of sharing the struggles inside your head with a complete stranger is terrifying. It’s understandable to have this fear. Most of us have experienced sharing our deepest feelings with someone and receiving judgement or shame. With a therapist, especially one who uses a relational approach like me, they’re going to welcome every part of you, without a judgement. Creating a welcoming and supportive space is the foundation of our work together and that will also take time. It’s totally normal if that first session feels a little scary or uncomfortable.
"I tried therapy before and it didn’t work”
Or maybe it even made you feel worse. This is unfortunately a common experience too. There are many possible reasons for this. Maybe the therapist or their approach was a bad fit for you. Maybe you need therapy that’s more somatic or body-based (like EMDR) to get to the root of issues. Most important: talk with your new therapist about what didn’t work before to help them understand your needs. And if a therapist does something that hurts or upsets you, let them know. You deserve to share that experience, have yourself heard, and the therapist has a job to repair the harm. If your therapist responds defensively or doesn’t take steps to repair the harm, you deserve to find another therapist who will welcome your feedback.
"The idea of talking about certain things or feeling my emotions is too scary.”
You feel afraid to truly face deeper emotions you’ve avoided for so long. That makes sense and you’re not alone. There’s a reason why you haven’t felt ready to look at and feel your emotions. You didn’t feel safe. You were trying to survive. Whatever the reason, know that when you come to therapy it is still your choice what you share and what pace you go. My job as a therapist is to work to create an environment for you to feel safe enough to share, but not to push. I follow your lead with compassion and patience.
"Going to therapy is selfish and self-indulgent”
You’ve been told it’s “selfish” to focus on caring for yourself and healing your anxiety or trauma. If you’re someone who struggles with people-pleasing and perfectionism, going to therapy for yourself may be incredibly uncomfortable. You may have grown up in a family that idolized sacrificing yourself for others. Or maybe you’re learned how to cope with your anxiety by putting all your attention on caring for others and changing that pattern feels impossible. But if you’re reading this, you’ve probably reached a breaking point. You’re burnt out, exhausted, maybe even numb, and you know you need a change.
Rachel Duvall
Rachel is an EMDR Therapist in Massachusetts and is passionate about working with women who are struggling with anxiety symptoms, low self esteem and perfectionism.
If this sounds like you, I’d love to support you. I’ve heard all these fears as a therapist and have felt themself when I made the decision to go to therapy. I promise there’s such freedom when we decide to face the fears and finally receive the compassion and healing we need. Request a consult for therapy in Massachusetts today.
